Author Archives: Mark

Book Review: Rage by Stephen King (as Richard Bachman) 9/10

This is a fierce book. I can understand completely why King decided he didn’t want it in print any more…the reality that’s happened that echoes this book is too soon, it makes sense. But it’s too good a book to … Continue reading

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It Conquered the World 2.5/5

Passable scifi with a solid cast and one of the worst monsters I’ve ever seen. Lee Van Cleef in an early major role is solid, as is Peter Graves, and the acting quality is fine, and it was reasonably entertaining … Continue reading

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Transylvania 6-5000 1/5

Pretty bad comedy that has the writing to blame. The talent is here: Jeff Goldblum, Ed Begley Jr, Carol Kane, John Byner, that guy from Seinfeld, but the actual jokes fall flat. As the film proceeds, you get a whiff … Continue reading

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Barbarian Queen 1.5/5

Goofy sex and sandals exploitation movie, done 80s style. Which means lots of tops getting ripped off, rapey middle-aged guys in silly outfits, and women who, no matter what hell they’ve gone through, look like they just got out of … Continue reading

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Trekkies 3.5/5

Documentary about Star Trek fans which contains some great parts (the stars of Star Trek telling their stories about the fans…highpoints being Nichelle Nichols and Jimmy Doohan; the trekkies telling how Star Trek inspired them to go into various careers), … Continue reading

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Stalled 2.5/5

While extremely low budget and with some technical issues, it does have a certain charm that reminded me of Peter Jackson’s early efforts, like Bad Taste and Dead Alive, and the central performance was solid. The issues were some of … Continue reading

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Pusher 2012 3/5

A remake of the Nicolas Winding Refn movie of 1996, this does not reach the same levels of intensity and claustrophobia as that one, but it’s not a bad crime thriller in its own right. Richard Coyle is pretty damn … Continue reading

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Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United 1/5

This was rather poor, but I admit I was kind of excited to see a Hulk/Iron Man pairing, so perhaps my expectations were too high. To break it down – Good: a few (a very few) of the shots and … Continue reading

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Bad Day At Black Rock 3.5/5

Solid drama with a quite outstanding cast (noticeable as town toughnuts are Lee Marvin and Ernest Borgnine!). As I watched it, it seemed quite wordy, and I became convinced it was based on a stage play, though searching the intertubes … Continue reading

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Ghost Rider 3.5/5

watched this at the cinema when it first came out and rather enjoyed it, but wanted to check it again, at it seems to be kicked around a fair bit. I enjoyed it just as much this time, but to … Continue reading

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Hooper 3/5

Easy going, fun, undemanding stuntman comedy with Burt Reynolds, interestingly touching on a man getting to the end of his career, and damaged from it. It has a few laughs and exciting scenes, but my favourite parts are the bar … Continue reading

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Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay 3.5/5

More goofy fun with the two guys trying to have fun, with some rather fine visual gags (I laughed really hard at least twice, and laughed pretty much throughout), and some really funny jokes riffing on racist idiots, stereotypes, and … Continue reading

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Beowulf 2/5

This pitches up between real-life cinema and more cartoonish styles, and feels like the worse of both. The nearly-human animation feels unreal by its very nearly-ness, giving the whole thing of watching a cast acting through thick botox-poisoning. In contrast, … Continue reading

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Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle 3/5

This was undemanding fun, watching the two guys going through a hellish night just for burgers, but learning a little about life. Neil Patrick Harris is particularly fun.

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The Heat 3.5/5

If you’re fine with a constant stream of profanities, which I am, then this is the movie for you. I’ve always liked Bullock as a comedienne, and this pairing with McCarthy is pretty fun. It’s not great, but it’s pretty … Continue reading

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The Lego Movie 4/5

Very fun movie with one insanely catchy tune that will lodge in your head like a brainspider. It’s goofy and surreal, with plenty of jokes, some of which are at oldschool Lego expense, which is fine. Without spoiling however, I … Continue reading

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World’s Greatest Dad 3/5

As I watched this, I thought I really didn’t like it. It seemed disjointed, and I found virtually all the characters unlikeable or positively annoying. I cannot fault the movie on the acting, sound design or cinematography though, the problem … Continue reading

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Seven Samurai 5/5

Here’s the short version: Superb, one of the greatest movies of all time. Here’s the long version: This is a terrific film, and the version I saw at 3 hours, 26 minutes really shouldn’t have a single moment removed, in … Continue reading

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Carnival of Souls 3/5

This is a really interesting movie. It falls flat on a lot of the acting and dialogue, but really stands out for several reasons; the weird overuse of weird organ music throughout and indeed the whole sound design, which is … Continue reading

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Sanjuro 4/5

Whilst not as thoroughly engaging or immersed in a coherent story as the similar Yojimbo (and there’s debate as to whether this is a sequel, or different character), this is still a lot of fun. With very little dialogue, we … Continue reading

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Cabin in the Woods 3.5/5

This is a fun watch. I particularly like the Lovecraftian element that runs through it, and spotting which monsters are actually monsters we all know and love. I particularly enjoyed seeing the modified versions of Pinhead and Pennywise, but wished … Continue reading

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Get the Gringo 3/5

Yep, we have Mel Gibson doing what he’s good at, which is excessively violent action genre movies. This one’s quite unusual and not what I expected, as he spends most of the time in a Mexican prison, but it’s fun, … Continue reading

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Yojimbo 4.5/5

Wonderful Eastern, with Tishuro Mifune spending the first 3rd of the movie munching rice, meat and other assorted goodies, drinking sake and killing tough-talking bandit types, whilst nonchalantly bringing the town to a boiling tension as he plays one gang … Continue reading

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God Bless America 4/5

This is the only liberal revenge fantasy movie I know of. It turns the usual vigilante/justified killer genre movie on its head by changing the target of the anger-fuelled killings from the usual right-wing demons like foreigners, lefties and the … Continue reading

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Return of the Jedi 4/5

Fun to watch, and better than I remember it. I guess how much you enjoy this one may hinge on how much the ewoks grate on you. I like them. I find them charming, I like the tribal shennanegins and … Continue reading

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Yeux Sans Visage 3.5/5

There is an odd mix of poetic and delicate sensibility and gore in this movie. It has some quite haunting and striking imagery – and this, I think, is the thing that will stay with me above all else – … Continue reading

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Julia’s Eyes 3/5

This thriller has a pretty great central performance, and like others have noted, owes more to the legacy of Italian giallo movies like Deep Red that Spanish horror. However, it is very engaging, and really keeps you tense for the … Continue reading

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Revenge of the Sith 3.5/5

Rather enjoyable conclusion to the prequel trilogy, with some gaping flaws (Annakin turns to the dark side on some really dodgy-sounding arguments from Palpatine – I think the rationales used are fine, but the dialogue is weak), but some rather … Continue reading

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Star Wars: Clone Wars 4/5

This is a review of both parts of the Star:Wars Clone Wars 2-D animated series. This is fun, exciting and fresh, and the best Star Wars since the original trilogy. Originally broadcast in 4 or 5 minute segments, this still … Continue reading

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An American Werewolf In London 4.5/5

This movie holds up, and remains one of the great comedy-horror movies, for several reasons. The transformation scene, done entirely using practical effects, still looks pretty great (apart from some of the elongated hands moments, but I stress ‘some’), the … Continue reading

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